Archive for the ‘Behavior Issues’ Category

Pacifiers: The Great Debate

Aug 29th, 12 / 0 Comments
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By HappyMamaX2

One day when my son Adrian was not yet 1, I took him grocery shopping. As usual, Adrian was using his pacifier to distract him from the discomfort of being strapped into the cart as we did this boring errand. While waiting to purchase our groceries, I noticed the elderly woman in front of us staring at Adrian. I caught her eye and smiled, to which she replied, “Take that thing out of his mouth. He’s never going to start speaking if you plug him up all the time.”

I was startled. How do you respond to someone criticizing your parenting choices? As a new mom, I constantly worried that I was ruining my child. And pacifiers were a particularly sensitive topic for me.

Boy with pacifier.

When I was still pregnant with Adrian, I had heard all the terrible things about pacifiers from veteran moms. I swore I’d never use them. But on the first night home from the hospital, when Adrian wouldn’t stop crying, I caved. As he slipped quietly into sleep sucking blissfully on his new binky, I felt guilty. Was I encouraging a bad habit?

As it turns out, most experts agree that the decision is up to the parents because there are both advantages and disadvantages to pacifier use. The Mayo Clinic’s website lists some of the drawbacks of using a binky: it may interfere with breastfeeding, your baby may not learn to soothe himself and it may increase the risk of ear infections or dental problems. However, the same website also lists the benefits of pacifier use: it may protect against SIDS, it provides a source of comfort or distraction for a fussy baby, it satisfies a baby’s strong suck reflex and it eases discomfort on airplanes. In addition, WebMD suggests it is easier to wean a child off a pacifier than his thumb.

On Parents.com, Marguerite Lamb’s article discusses a few expert-backed options for when and how to wean children off pacifiers. My husband and I decided to wait until Adrian was 2so that he could understand what was happening and communicate his feelings. We chose to follow Lamb’s “Three Day Plan” because it best fit our parenting style. For a few days, we talked to Adrian about giving up his binky. Then, Adrian helped us find all the pacifiers and placed them in a special box. My husband had Adrian say “thank you” and “goodbye” to his beloved friends, and then I quietly disposed of the box while Adrian was distracted. Adrian was tremendously proud of himself and told everyone that he was a “big boy now.” He struggled with sleep for a few nights, but overall it was a smooth process.

The lady in the grocery store had a very valid opinion: there are drawbacks to using pacifiers. But experts also argue that there are tremendous benefits, and that it is a personal decision all parents must make. Adrian’s binky brought him comfort when he needed it, and that is what was important to me in the end.

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Behavior Issues, Breastfeeding, Health and Nutrition, Parenting, Safety, Uncategorized

Father’s Day: Who’s In Control?

Jun 14th, 12 / 0 Comments
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By Downtown Dad

Have you ever battled a toddler over the television remote? Some say it’s easier to pull a steak from the jaws of a hungry pit bull than to get a toddler to give up that remote.

Is it the shiny buttons that light up when pressed? Is it the nice sound the remote makes when slammed over and over again on the coffee table? I have a feeling the main attraction is none of the above. Instead, I’m going to guess that my toddler son is motivated to possess the remote primarily because he wants to be like the adults he sees using it.

A year ago, this situation could have easily been resolved by a quick tickle followed by a belly laugh … followed by his inevitable release of the remote. Not so today.

As Louie’s 2nd birthday approaches and he enters the toddler stage, I’m reminded this Father’s Day that being a father is about to get a lot more complicated. Recently, whenever Louie does something that would qualify him as a rascal, he will immediately look to me or his mother to judge our response. And when he doesn’t get what he wants, he engages in mini-tantrums that involve screaming, crying and executing surprisingly graceful left-right swing combos.

These are all natural reactions to his toddler frustrations, which include a lack of spoken communication skills. As a father, my natural reaction seems to be to lay down the law and set limits. The trick is to do this in a patient and gentle way when my toddler has just changed the channel in the middle of my favorite show and refuses to give up the remote.

I remind myself that everything he does is an exploring and learning experience, and his parents are his main teachers. When we have these exchanges, I find myself exploring my own capabilities of patience, communication and self-control, and I realize that it’s not just a one-way street. Both of us can learn something from each other.

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Behavior Issues, Parenting, Uncategorized

Kindergartner Handcuffed and Taken Away By Police for Acting Out

Apr 17th, 12 / 0 Comments
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By Double Duty Mama

As I read this article about a kindergartner being hauled off in handcuffs by the police for acting out in school, I tried to picture all of this happening through the eyes of a kindergartner. Or, actually, through the eyes of my kindergartner. He may be a kindergartner who struggles with behavior issues and has his share of tantrums that land him in the principal’s office … but at least the only terror he has from those experiences is the one that comes when the school calls me or my husband. The idea of the police being called because he threw a toy or had one of his defiant “I-don’t-have-to-listen-to-you” episodes with a teacher would make me seriously question the professionals in whose care I’ve trusted him. That the police and school district in this case are even now, with the benefit of hindsight, justifying their actions has me baffled.

The story cites other instances around the country where students were arrested for misbehaving at school. While their alleged “crimes” may sound trivial (burping in class), we know that those kids are older and no mention is made of their behavioral histories. How much behavioral history can a 6-year-old have that would warrant handcuffs and a trip to the clink?

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Behavior Issues, Safety, Uncategorized

Eat Healthy, Grow Strong: Would You Rather Have a Banana or a Scooby-Doo Stickered Rock for Breakfast?

Mar 19th, 12 / 0 Comments
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By Double Duty Mama

When my younger son was about 15 days old and his brother was 2 years old, my husband and I watched a shocking episode of Dateline where preschoolers were asked to choose between foods.

First, they chose between cupcakes: one with an American flag design and the other with Elmo or Spiderman. The character always won. Then, they were asked to choose between a banana covered with Disney princess or Scooby-Doo stickers and a plain cupcake, and the stickered banana was chosen each time. Last, they were presented a plain banana and cartoon character sticker-covered rock and asked which they’d rather have in their lunch box. Guess what? They all chose the rock.

My husband and I, who considered ourselves savvy to the tricky ways of marketers, had never encountered this issue. And we were shocked to see the kids, one after the other, choose food based on what it looked like. Our older son was still pretty shielded at that point from television, except for DVR’d episodes of Dora the Explorer. We never bought shoes or shirts with cartoon characters on them and we never wanted to encourage any obsessions with these characters. We knew that eventually these icons would be discovered, but we didn’t want to speed up that process.

And with good reason. Like that Dateline show, we knew the power of marketing on children. The American Academy of Pediatrics places a large part of the childhood obesity epidemic blame on food marketing, and a recent study found that preschoolers were more likely to “nag” for junk food in the grocery store based on product packaging, cartoon characters and exposure to commercials.

It is our job to ensure that the kids eat healthy, and we always keep the junk food to a minimum. As they grow older, watch more television and play video games and begin to like what their friends like, it only gets harder. But if you set the ground rules at the beginning and stick to your nutritious shopping list, it does get easier. Eventually, they stop nagging (as much) for the Star Wars fruit snacks and eat the plain, fresh apple. I can’t say it ever stops completely, but by being consistent you can win against the powerful food marketing force and be sure your kids are eating healthy and growing strong.

Click here to read a full transcript of Dateline’s Who’s to blame for the U.S. obesity epidemic? —including a link to a five-minute video of the kids making their food choices.

*  *  *

Through April, our Eat Healthy, Grow Strong campaign will feature blog entries about nutritious eating, along with recipes, tips and resources for you to help your family Eat Healthy, Grow Strong! Be sure to visit www.ReadySetGrowLA.org/EatHealthy for even more ways to make good eating a part of your life, including upcoming events and a Nutrition Quiz to win great prizes.

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Behavior Issues, Health and Nutrition, Parenting, Uncategorized

Judging: Parents Are Hard on Each Other … and Themselves

Mar 13th, 12 / 0 Comments
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By Double Duty Mama

“You don’t even know.”

I often look at parents-to-be and think that to myself.

Because, frankly, I didn’t even know how dramatically life would change with kids….

How I would  lie awake at night thinking about all the things I needed to do to keep my kids safe and alive … and pay for things like daycare, college and weddings….

How “free time” was no longer about leisurely reading books or shopping with friends, but running around my house frantically like a mad woman on a Saturday afternoon cleaning, filling out school and extracurricular activity forms, catching up on party RSVP’s, fixing snacks, toys and boo-boos….

How much time I would spend worrying if I was “doing it right,” guiltily comparing myself to my stay-at-home friends who seemed to enjoy their constant time with their kids, while feeding them homemade, organic food … or smugly comparing myself to my friends who plopped their toddlers in front of the television with a bag of cookies for three hours a day.

This comparing myself to others and stressing about parenting can be a poisonous path to travel.

Earlier this month, a blogger wrote a column in the Huffington Post apologizing to the parents she judged before having children and acknowledging all the “judge-worthy” things she does with her children: television(!), disposable diapers(!).

Then, she smartly writes to all parents: “Stop comparing ourselves to each other because it’s hard for all of us, and we’re just doing what we can to get by, get through the day and give our children the best we can.”

And she’s right, but it can be hard … especially when study after study talks about all the ways parents are failing their children. A recent one written up in the Washington Post compares American parents to their French counterparts, who are “calmer” and “more confident.” The article does note, however, that the French, unlike the U.S., have state-subsidized child care … which I’m sure eliminates a lot of the stress hard-working parents have over earning a living and finding someone to watch over their little ones.

Speaking of which, the article did throw working parents a bone: “American mothers who work outside the home — and that’s three-fourths of all moms, many of whom work full-time — spend more time with their children today than stay-at-home mothers did in the 1960s.”

The article adds: “They do so by forgoing sleep, personal care, housework and any shred of personal leisure. Their ‘free time’ is largely spent with their kids.” This, of course, gives me and all working, guilt-ridden parents the opportunity to pretend this makes us “better” parents than the stay-at-home ones. But that would be inaccurate and judge-y.

So, the whole point is that, no matter what the articles, studies or even our friends and family members say, no parent is perfect (especially in the eyes of another). All we can do is our best: read the articles, listen to the pediatrician and access educational and resourceful information to make the best, informed choices we can.

And don’t beat ourselves up if we toss the cranky kid in the shopping cart the iPhone.

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Looking for some well-researched parenting advice and child-rearing information? Be sure to explore Ready. Set. Grow! for more:

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Behavior Issues, Parenting

PAWS to Read

Nov 9th, 11 / 3 Comments
paws-to-read

By Ready. Set. Grow!

Do you have a budding reader at home who is a little shy? Do you want to encourage him to practice reading aloud?

The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals Los Angeles has a very sweet program that matches new readers with dogs. Through the PAWS to Read program, kids get to practice their skills before a very nonjudgmental audience who will never correct them.

In a recent Daily Breeze column, writer (and mom) Renee Moilanen recounts a visit to the Redondo Beach Main Library where children were reading to some four-legged friends. Parents told her their kids became more interested in reading and have increased confidence, and the kids were truly inspired to hone their literacy skills. And it was very cute to read how they interacted with the dogs!

Can’t make it to one of the PAWS to Read sessions? No problem. Set your child up with a book and a pet, or ask a friend, neighbor or family member if they can spare their pooch, cat, rabbit or goldfish for 15 minutes. If that’s not possible, pick your child’s favorite stuffed animal or doll. The point is to make reading a fun and comfortable experience for your child.

Let us know how it goes … and be sure to look below to learn more about our Read Early, Read Aloud early reading month — including a contest for your own home library of children’s books!

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This month, we celebrate early reading and want to encourage parents and caregivers to Read Early, Read Aloud with babies, toddlers and preschoolers! You can learn more about Read Early, Read Aloud, including age-appropriate book suggestions, tips for reading with young kids and, soon, local reading events, at the Read Early, Read Aloud pages.

Be sure to enter to win 50 books in our “My Favorite Book” contest. You can play by answering a couple questions here on Ready. Set. Grow! or on Twitter. For full details, visit the “My Favorite Book” contest rules page by clicking here.

 

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Behavior Issues, Just for Fun, Parenting, Reading

Be Sure Your Kids Aren’t Getting “Tricked” This Halloween with Dangerous Candy**

Oct 26th, 11 / 0 Comments
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By Ready. Set. Grow!

**Updated Oct. 27, 2011

As if Halloween isn’t scary enough, but now we also must worry about lead in the candy and candy wrappings our little ghouls and goblins get trick-or-treating. Most candy is safe for children and parents, but some contain hidden lead.

According to Dr. Jonathan Fielding, director of the Los Angeles County Department of Public Health and a First 5 LA commissioner, lead can seriously affect a child’s brain and nervous system and may cause learning and behavioral problems. Last year in the county, 672 children suffered from lead poisoning. “Lead poisoning is both tragic and entirely preventable,” he added.

The Department has issued a list of candies, most of which come from Mexico, from all over the world that tested positive for an unsafe amount of lead. A list of candies that were found to contain unacceptable levels of lead is on the Department’s website in English and Spanish.

Since this week (Oct. 23 -29) is National Childhood Lead Poisoning Prevention Week, this is also a good time to remember that there is a lot we can do to reduce a child’s exposure to leads. Here are some sources of lead exposure:

 ·        Deteriorated paint and dust from houses and apartments built before 1978 where lead paint was used.

  • Ground soil that has been contaminated by lead paint, lead dust, or leaded gasoline.
  • Lead dust that comes into the home on work clothes or work boots.
  • Some folk or traditional remedies, such as Azarcón and Greta.
  • Various imported goods, which can include specific items of toys, ceramics, and children’s jewelry.
  • Hobbies using items that contain lead, such as soldering, making stained glass, and handling bullets or fishing sinkers.

All parents and caregivers of young children are invited to learn how to protect their children from this silent and serious environmental threat. Free materials in many languages, as well as answers to questions on lead poisoning prevention, are available by calling 1-800-LA-4-LEAD or online at http://publichealth.lacounty.gov/lead.

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Behavior Issues, Health and Nutrition, Parenting, Safety

Keeping Little Problems From Becoming Big Ones in Pre-K

Oct 5th, 11 / 0 Comments
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By Positive Momma

For a minute there, I was one of THOSE parents. You know — the mom who believes that her child can do no wrong and that if there is a problem, it has to be the teacher’s fault.

Last week was my oldest daughter’s second week of pre-k. And though she attended the school’s summer program, she suddenly decided she did not like, nor did she want to go to, school. In fact, she’d cry every morning. Miserably. And every morning, I’d head off to work, trying not to cry myself, with my daughter’s tears and runny nose remnants on my clothes.

By day three, my husband and I had had it. We were convinced that her teacher must be the problem, and it was reinforced when my daughter cried, “Ms. X was mean to me. She yelled at me!” Yell? At my daughter? Who would yell at my sweet little angel? Yes, I’ve yelled at her, but that’s not the point!

Thursday, I was finally able to speak with the teacher. Turns out, my daughter was upset that her teacher did not choose her as the class helper that week (she was the helper the prior week). When she found out my daughter had been crying every morning (because I told every teacher there), she began trying different tactics to encourage her, like giving her helper assignments.

I began to realize it was the transition to the pre-k environment and coursework, not the teacher, that was the problem. I began to employ the greatest weapon I know in helping my child: TIME. When we got home, instead of starting homework right away, I’d have some play time with my two daughters together to give the older one a chance to decompress from an entire day of structure. The result? Happier mom, happier daughter, greater bonding between sisters and my daughter now enjoys school.

Lessons learned?

1. It’s okay to be “that parent.” You are your child’s first advocate — just be sure to temper it with reason and understanding the facts before jumping to conclusions.

2. Connect with your child’s teacher if you have a concern. Ask questions and don’t underestimate the teachers’ understanding of your child as an individual.

3. Time heals all wounds. Play time, talk time, cuddle time, encouragement time — it’s all good time to spend with your child.

 

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Behavior Issues, Parenting, Preschool

Get Ready to Learn!

Sep 1st, 11 / 1 Comment
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By Ready. Set. Grow!

Your kids may not be starting kindergarten, or even preschool, this fall … but it’s never too early to start them on the path to school success!

Be sure to check out our Family Guide for ideas on how to get your baby, toddler or preschooler ready to learn. You may be surprised to learn how your 1-year-old’s crying when someone else is upset or your 4-year-old’s hopping on one foot are just some of the milestones they reach as they prepare for kindergarten.

The Family Guide also has information about the new age cut-off laws in California and transitional kindergarten, tips on choosing a quality preschool and some truths and myths about vaccinations.

If you’ve kids getting ready for school, First 5 LA and Best Start will be all around Los Angeles County in the next few weeks, helping you get your kids ready to learn with free school supplies and resources. Visit the First 5 LA calendar (and keep looking for updates!) to find an event near you.

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Behavior Issues, Parenting, Preschool, Reading

Ready. Set. Grow! Readers Share Their Water-Drinking Stories and Tips

Aug 10th, 11 / 0 Comments
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By Ready. Set. Grow!

Wow! Our blog and Facebook readers who shared stories and tips about getting kids to drink water really had some great ideas, and have overcome some difficult struggles. What stands out the most is how so many they found that, by drinking water themselves, it made it easier to get kids to do the same.

And, we have to admit, we even learned a few things. (Who knew how bad soy milk can be for teeth?)

Thank you SO MUCH for sharing. While only a few of you were lucky enough to win Potter Prize Packs, you are ALL winners for choosing water and making healthy choices for your families. Congratulations!

Here are all our entries:

Dani:

“I think that if a child is severely obese then perhaps a second party should step in and help the parents. There are cases of disorders and conditions (ie type 1 diabetes, hormone imbalance) that are out of the control of the parent and they should not be faulted for this. Pediatricians should also be held accountable if the child is regularly seen. As a parent I have never been given resources or guidance to ensure my child does not become obese. Some people do not have the ‘common sense’ to limit their children. I think that this issue should be a case by case, family by family process.”

“I always make sure my toddler sees me drink water. Whenever I am thirsty I say I need some water not a drink and get us both some. Then we see you can take the biggest drink and we always say ahhhh after.”

Dorothea:

“I think the easiest way for your kids not to drink soda is not to have it available. Stay away from fast food places and choose not to have it in your home. That really goes for any unhealthy foods you are trying to avoid. We never have soda at home and rarely juice, and getting my kids to drink water has not been a problem.”

“If your kids are running around playing and are thirsty, offer them water. They will drink it! Just having healthy choices available and in the home will help them make good choices, too. And watching what their parents do will help them make healthy choices for themselves.”

Renee:

“Maybe this isn’t fair because our kid is not quite two years old, but we’ve never given him anything but milk and water, and now that he’s used to those drinks, he can’t stand juice or any other sweet beverages. Maybe things will change when he’s more independent and mobile, but for now, he drinks what we drink, and we don’t keep juices or sodas in the house, which makes it easier.”

Julie:

“I have a 19mo boy and I swear by water myself! It’s just been in the last few weeks that my DS has tasted juice & soda. I even gave in and let him have a juice box at a friends birthday party. Oops. Now whenever he spies a juice box, he’s lightening fast about to tackle the one holding it. Good news is he still prefers water to anything else in a cup and hopefully the obsession with juice boxes will diminish with time :) ”

“we recently got back from a family vacation where i let juice & other sweet drinks slide from my normal ‘water only’ rule. coming home and leading by example worked well. i’m not saying it was easy – there was definitely a little struggle – but he did give in, and we are back to drinking only water.”

Jeannie:

“My children’s dentist has a display in her office that shows the horrible effects of juice and soda on teeth. Soy milk also can do a lot of damage to teeth. Each time we go to the dentist we see the display and the dentist reminds my kids (ages 4 and 8 ) that water and milk are the best choices for them. They get soda once a year on their birthday (they talk about what kind of soda they are going to choose throughout the year) and juice maybe 1/week as a treat.”

Double trouble:

“My twins love drinking juice but recently I decided I needed to start drinking more water. So I started carryng a stainless steel water bottle. Keeps my water cold for a longer period of time. I noticed since then my girls have been drinking as much water as me. I also decided to buy them a water bottle as well and they love it. I let them decorated with their favorite stickers to customize it. They love it.”

Cleo:

“My grandson and I have water bottles that we drink from together as we have been from the time he was an infant. He likes his water bottle that looks like mine. We love plain water!”

Karla:

“I’m not an avid water drinker myself, but when I’m around my young daughters, I make it a point to choose water over other drinks. I also make sure to comment on how good water tastes and how good it is for our bodies.”

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Behavior Issues, Health and Nutrition, Parenting, Uncategorized