Author Archive

True Tales from the Tooth Doctor

Feb 22nd, 11 / 3 Comments
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by Auntie Em

This month we’ve shared a few stories about what happens when they take their children to visit the dentist.  Now let’s hear from a tooth doctor:

The following giggle-worthy stories are from Dr. Arshia Shingler, a pediatric dentist in Gainesville, VA, www.gainesvillepediatricdentistry.com.:

Sugar Bug

It is common verbiage in our practice to call cavities “sugar bugs”. When trying to explain the process of decay removal to children under five, I will often talk about chasing the “sugar bug”. During a routine filling appointment I had a laugh-out-loud moment when a three-year-old patient asked me if the sugar bug had an angry face?  I took his lead and spent the next few minutes distracting him with my description of the ‘evil’ sugar bug I was chasing away.

Tooth fairy

The normal age range of losing a first tooth is between 4-7 years of age. Years ago, I had a four-year old patient lose his first tooth in our office during a routine cleaning appointment. During his exam, I began telling him about the tooth fairy coming to his house that night, thinking this would be very exciting news. Unfortunately, I got the complete opposite reaction. The patient began sobbing uncontrollably because he did not want the tooth fairy to take his first tooth away. Later we remedied the situation by telling him he could write the tooth fairy a letter asking to keep his tooth.

Bracelets

A few months ago a very independent 5-year old patient asked if she could come back to the treatment room by herself. Before I brought her back I asked the mom if she had any special concerns. I guess the patient thought I was talking to her, because she immediately responded: “When am I getting “bracelets” like my older sister?” I looked to the mom for an explanation and she informed me that her sister had recently gotten braces.

Do you have any funny stories to share about your kids and their teeth? Share with us in the comments! Our favorite story wins a free kids dental kit + a copy of Brush Brush Brush!

*Entries must be received by Friday, Feb 25th at 5PM PST, Los Angeles County residents only

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Health and Nutrition, Just for Fun

Facing the Truth About Holiday Eating

Jan 10th, 11 / 0 Comments
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by Auntie Em

Did you overindulge like I did? Well, now I am paying the price for it with pants that won’t button at the waist. Or skirts that fit too snug around the hips for comfort or good taste.

But, I am not alone. The average American gains about a pound of weight celebrating the holidays. And, believe me, I saw equally as many little kids as adults eating way too much during the season of festive meals, with an abundance of sweets.

I suppose we adults look the other way because it is a special time to be cheerful. Plus, we have to be polite to relatives, neighbors and friends who want us to chow down on their homemade cookies, cakes, pies and eggnog.

Well folks, it’s a New Year, and the food orgy is over.

Now it’s time for parents to encourage their young children to exercise, and to engage in physical activities with them as a family. This will help adults, as well as toddlers.

The obesity epidemic is reaching down to the sandbox as kids are less and less active, and they become overweight at younger ages. In L.A. County, about 22 percent of 4-year-olds are overweight, according to First 5 LA research.

The overweight problem comes from an imbalance of calories eaten and burned up. Experts believe the main cause is that children are not getting enough exercise, raising concerns over their weight, future disease risk and sense of well-being.

Learning to maintain both physical and mental health is one of the most important things that a parent or caregiver can teach a child. What’s more, many studies suggest overall fitness affects everything from a child’s behavior to his ability to focus on tasks for successful learning.

Regular physical activity helps young children build strong bones, muscles, healthy hearts, lungs and arteries and improves coordination, balance, posture and flexibility. It also reduces the risks of many chronic diseases, including Type 2 diabetes, and helps children maintain a healthy weight — one of First 5 LA’s strategic goals.

According to the National Association for Sport and Physical Education (NASPE), a nonprofit organization that sets the standard for best practices in quality physical education and sports, all children from birth to age 5 should engage daily in physical activity that promotes movement skillfulness and the foundations of health-related fitness.

Did you know that your preschooler needs a minimum of two hours of physical activity daily – including one hour structured (adult-led) and an hour unstructured (free play)? They should not be sedentary for more than 60 minutes at a time, except when sleeping.

First 5 LA suggests the following exercises for toddlers to get them moving on their feet and having fun, especially after all of that unhealthy eating during the holidays:

Tightrope Walk

  • Place a piece of masking tape on the floor.
  • Walk together along the “tightrope.”
  • Try to stay on the line. Walk backward, forward and sideways.
  • Result: Helps develop balance, exercises foot muscles.

Stretches

  • Stand with your feet shoulder-width apart. Have your child follow your movements.
  • Move into a crouching position.
  • Stretch slowly upwards until you are standing. Stretch your hands over your head.
  • Lower your hands slowly to your sides.
  • Return to a crouching position and repeat.
  • Result: Stretches the entire body.

Head, shoulders, knees and toes

  • Stand facing your child.
  • Slowly call out the names of each body part in the title, asking your child to touch each body part as you name it.
  • Once your child does this successfully, mix up the order of the body parts.
  • Quicken your pace.
  • Result: Helps your child identify body parts. Also helps with flexibility and understanding the concepts of up, down, low and high.

Auntie Em wants you to keep the big and little bodies in your family moving and engaged in exercise. I promise to start as well so we can all feel better, and stay healthier.

# # #



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Health and Nutrition

Christmas on a Budget

Dec 20th, 10 / 0 Comments
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by Auntie Em

I have a niece I nicknamed “Little Money.”   Instead of carrying around a blanket or stuffed animal, she always has her piggy bank with her.   At first I thought it was cute, but after a few visits, I started thinking it was getting expensive to regularly give her money to put inside.

Was my relative using this as a dirty trick to nickel and dime us to build a college fund for her 4-year-old daughter?

A Danish Christmas tree illuminated with burni...

Image via Wikipedia

Auntie Em decided to strike back against this piggy bank routine. When Little Money came for Thanksgiving this year, I asked her if she was going to open up Mr. Piggy to buy Christmas presents for me and my husband.  No, I didn’t dismiss Santa Claus.  Instead, I explained that he didn’t bring us old folks gifts and it was very sad for both of us.

Then it happened.  I must have hit a sweet spot because she immediately opened her bank, and come to find out that she had more money in it than I had in my own wallet. Her mother was equally surprised, and made a joke about using Little Money’s stash for her own Christmas shopping.

But no mother or aunt wants to break a toddler’s bank for the holidays.  Nor do we want to max out our own credit cards.  The holidays should never be about Christmas lists and spending money, but more about spending time together. Here are some tips to help curb your holiday spending without looking like a cheapskate:

Don’t wait to the last minute. Nothing drives overspending like panic. Waiting until the last minute causes you to overspend because you are in a hurry to get your hands on anything, and price comparing is no longer an option so you wind up spending more than you planned because the item you wanted to purchase was no longer available in the size, color you needed.

Family grab bag. A grab bag is when everyone brings a generic gift and you exchange gifts either by picking them out of a bag or assigning a number to a gift, then picking numbers from a hat.

Keep the credit cards at home.  Set a budget, bring cash and spend wisely. Credit cards lead to a nasty case of “the might-as-wells,” as in: “I might as well spend more than my budget because I’m too lazy to be a frugal shopper.”  Using cash makes you very aware of your spending.

Piggy bank

Image by RambergMediaImages via Flickr

Give inexpensive gifts to babysitters or teachers. You can find attractive small scented jar candles on clearance and put three of them in a small basket, which can be purchased at the thrift store with some tissue paper, ribbon and a nice note.

Save money by buying used. It is possible to get almost anything used, second hand or almost new by visiting thrift stores or yard sales.

Make memories, not more junk. Most kids get more than enough for Christmas from grandparents, aunts and uncles. If you can only afford one gift for your child, make it a memory! Wrap a note in a box with instructions for a treasure hunt. Send your child all over the house with clues, and then have the real gift sitting under the tree when they return. Simple, but a great memory for them!

Go outside for holiday activities. Have a kids’ afternoon that will wear little bodies out and provide fun memories. Try a trip to the beach or a nearby hike.  Another great and frugal way to entertain the family through the holidays is to take a drive around town, or another town nearby, to see their Christmas lights.  It could become a family tradition.

Holiday Gocco Gift tags - Nature - set of 5

Image by Sarah Parrott via Flickr

Make homemade Christmas tree decorations. Another way of saving money is to make homemade tree decorations. This has the added bonus of keeping the kids occupied and making them feel involved. Try making colorful paper chains as an alternative to tinsel, or designing decorations on cardboard. Pierce a hole through the cardboard and tie some ribbon through it to make a unique hanging tree decoration.

Homemade Christmas stockings. Similarly to having children make their own decorations, they can also make their own Christmas stockings, with a little help from an adult. Take two pieces of seasonally colored felt and draw an identical shaped sock on each. Cut the shapes out and sew together the outside edges. Try decorating the top of the sock with some cotton wool for a classic Christmas look.

Homemade Christmas cards. Keeping with the homemade theme, homemade Christmas cards are an excellent way to save money. Sticking a print-out of a family picture on the front and writing a personalized message inside makes homemade Christmas cards unique and memorable.

Check out a Christmas book from the library.  Read the book together as a family over the holidays.

Make personalized calendars. Buy calendar blanks or use a template from an online program.  Then you can add pictures of your family, important dates such as birthdays and anniversaries of the family and maybe a special note or quote every once in a while. For parents, make them extra special and add little surprises, like a couple dollars taped to a summer date for an ice-cream treat or a coupon for a video and popcorn night.

Start a family history.  Each Christmas decide on a different topic.  For example, your family could write about their favorite Christmas the first year.  Then have each family member write or have the toddlers draw a picture about it. Collect the stories and pictures and put them all together in a notebook or inexpensive binder for a Christmas gift that will carry a lasting value.

Now you can have wonderful holiday season without having to break into your child’s piggy bank.

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Budgeting, Parenting

Some Things Are Just as Important as Tying Shoes

Dec 13th, 10 / 1 Comment
some-things-are-just-as-important-as-tying-shoes

by Auntie Em

Well now that our early literacy month campaign is over I have a story to share about the power of reading. On my visit with my friend Antoinette last week she told me about one of her 3-year old daughter’s classmates at preschool.

“I volunteered to help out on a trip to the zoo” she began and then suddenly threw out a comment about how they really need at least two more parents on these trips because one parent and the teacher was a nightmare.  But before she could continue on this tangent of how quickly little feet can get away from an adult, I reminded her of the story she had started.

“Well,” she said.  When we got out of the car and began to walk toward the zoo entry, I looked down and noticed that the little girl’s shoes were untied.   I stopped, looked down and asked her to please tie them so she wouldn’t trip.”

Now we get to the good stuff.

With a serious face, the small child looked up at Antoinette and stated:  “I can’t do that because I don’t know how to tie my girl jumpingshoes yet.”  Then without missing a beat she added proudly with much self confidence, “But I can read!”

I loved this little girl’s response because it showed such great self-esteem.  She didn’t feel badly about her shoes.  She had the ability to do other things that were also just as important and she made certain that Antoinette understood her accomplishments.  This was a perfect picture poster for Read Early, Read Aloud!   Sure, tying shoes is a necessary skill but at 3 years she understood that reading is an accomplishment and something of which to be proud.

Building self-esteem begins in infancy, and by the time children reach the preschool years, they already have the foundation for their self-esteem. However, parents and preschool teachers can do many things to build on that base so that your child retains a sense of self-esteem throughout his growth and development.

“Self-esteem comes from having a sense of belonging, believing that we’re capable, and knowing our contributions are valued and worthwhile,” says a California family therapist. Children with good self-esteem are more resilient, weather storms more easily and perform with confidence because they expect positive outcomes. Want to help your preschooler build strong self-esteem early? Here’s how:

Foster Feelings of Belonging
Although preschoolers are a little young to base their self-esteem on the way their peers treat them, they do know if they are being excluded. Teaching your child skills so he plays well and gets along with others can improve his self-esteem. Even more important, though, is how adults relate to her. When adults respect, listen to, and respond readily to a preschooler’s needs, she feels loved and valued. She, in turn, will learn to respond to others that way.

Be a Role Model
Parents who have good self-esteem foster it in their children. If you feel comfortable with yourself, chances are good your preschooler will feel good about himself. Children are great imitators, so when they see the adults around them displaying self-confidence and self-assurance, they learn those behaviors.

If you laugh at and learn from your mistakes, your child will realize errors can be corrected. Preschoolers who can risk making mistakes are more willing to try new things, to experiment and to learn new skills, which increases their self-esteem.

Foster a Can-Do Attitude
When your preschooler works hard and succeeds, point it out. Don’t just wait for him to reach his ultimate goal: celebrate small steps along the way by following these steps:

  • Once he masters a skill, suggest a new one that will make him stretch a bit.
  • Pick an activity that won’t overwhelm him or her, one that’s doable with a little extra effort.
  • Reinforce the idea that she’s capable as she masters each new challenge.

Even small victories make your preschooler feel confident and bolster self-esteem.

Help your child to love and accept all parts of them, so that they may achieve wholeness, love and a lifelong connection to themselves and the world.  The connection to the world and the self-acceptance that accompanies it are vital to healthy self-esteem, and encouraging a preschooler’s self-esteem is one of the most valuable gifts you can give.

The little girl in my story accepted the fact she couldn’t do everything yet, and it didn’t bust her confidence.

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Preschool, Reading

Teaching Cultural Diversity to Prepare Your Child for a Successful Future

Nov 22nd, 10 / 2 Comments
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By Auntie Em

I love good food and it is fun to eat special dishes from Korea, India and Mexico.

So I feel very lucky to live in a multi-cultural neighborhood.

All of the little kids growing up on our block are lucky too because, beyond the yummy dishes, they will also benefit from an environment that exposes them to all different kinds of people.  In the future, they will be able to understand, appreciate, and work with others from diverse backgrounds.  This is what it will take a boy to be a success in tomorrow’s world.

If you live in a great location like I do, with families from a variety of ethnic and racial backgrounds, you want to expose children to diverse races and cultures at an early age. The more children are around different people, the more likely they are to readily accept them as a part of their environment.

You want to prepare your child to meet the challenges and reap the benefits of the increasingly diverse world they will inherit.

You want to raise your youngsters to celebrate and value diversity and to be proud of themselves and their family traditions.

But how do you teach children to respect and value people regardless of the color of their skin, their physical abilities, or the language they speak?

One good way to start is by reading books about other cultures. Find books about holidays celebrated by children around the world.  You want to make sure your child understands that each of us is different and unique, but there’s much that we share, regardless of the way we dress, the food we eat, or the way we worship.

Expose your children to different cultures by getting to know your neighbors and by making friends with families from other ethnic or racial groups or religions.  If you are Hispanic, take your children to a deli for a corned beef sandwich or a Thai restaurant for noodles. Restaurants are often decorated to fit the culture they represent and play authentic music. They offer an abundance of learning possibilities, such as how to eat with chopsticks.

Attend cultural festivals and exhibits. Teaching your children to understand and respect one another’s differences is important. Opening the doors to cultural diversity will teach your family valuable lessons about different cultures, customs, foods, rituals and more.

Teach your child the meaning of equality. Tell them often that, although we are all different colors, nationalities, etc., we are all human beings that deserve the same amount of respect and kindness. It is as simple as the Golden Rule: Treat others the way you would like to be treated.

Here is a list of books that I got from a very nice librarian that may help you teach your toddler about cultural diversity:

Asian American, Pacific Islander American, Asian

  • Siddals, Mary McKenna | Sayles, Elizabeth (illustrator) | 1998
    Millions of snowflakes
    As snow begins to fall; a child counts the flakes, enjoying every one.
  • Krishnaswami, Uma | Krishnaswamy, Uma (illustrator) | 2010
    Out of the way! Out of the way!
    A little boy cares for a little tree, and soon the grown tree is caring for him, as well as all the people who pass by.
  • Lin, Grace | 2002
    Fortune Cookie Fortune
     After a young Chinese American girl opens fortune cookies with her family, she notices that the fortunes seem to come true. Includes brief notes on the history of the fortune cookie.
  • Yee, Wong Herbert | 1995
    A drop of rain
    Everyone in the family thinks that baby is crying and tries to cheer him up until it is revealed that it is not tears but drops of rain that are on baby’s face.

African American

  • Asim, Jabari | Pham, LeUyen (illustrator) | 2006
    Whose toes are those?
    Children are invited to explore their toes by playing “this little piggy.”
  • Grimes, Nikki | Collier, Bryan (illustrator) | 2006
    Welcome, Precious
    Illustrations and text welcome a new baby to some of life’s delights, from “the glistening mystery of soap bubbles” to “the swish of leaves in the breeze.”
  • Isadora, Rachel | 2008
    Uh-oh!
    As a toddler keeps getting into mischief all day, the reader is invited to discover the trouble with each page-turn and to say, “uh-oh!”

Multiracial

  • Smith, Dana Kessimakis | Freeman, Laura (illustrator) | 2004
    A wild cowboy
    Grandma’s babysitting today, and the frontier’s best cowboy gathers his things for the long journey there. The wild cowboy tells his tale of adventure in rhyme.

Hispanic

  • Mora, Pat | Morale, Magaly (illustrator) | 2009
    A piñata in a pine tree: A Latino twelve days of Christmas
    In this adaptation of the folksong “The twelve days of Christmas,” friends exchange gifts such as a piñata and “cuatro luminarias.” Includes pronunciation and glossary of Spanish words and a description of Christmas foods and other holiday traditions from different Latin American countries.
  • Mora, Pat | Suárez, Maribel (illustrator) | 2008
    Here, kitty, kitty! = ¡Ven, gatita, ven!
    In this illustrated story told in both English and Spanish, a child describes the antics of a mischievous kitty.
  • Alarcón, Francisco X. | Barragán, Paula (illustrator) | 1997
    Poems to dream together = Poemas para soñar juntos
    A collection of short, bilingual poems celebrating the connections children share with their families, communities, and all living things.

Indigenous Peoples and Nations

  • Scott, Ann Herbert | Coalson, Glo (illustrator) | 1972
    On mother’s lap
    A young boy who lives with his family in the Arctic discovers that mother’s lap is a very special place, with room for everyone.
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Parenting, Reading, Uncategorized

Don’t Bite Me Lil’ Kim

Sep 30th, 10 / 0 Comments
don%e2%80%99t-bite-me-lil%e2%80%99-kim

by Auntie Em

Kimberly is a child who——only when her mother is not around—- we call “Lil ‘Kim” for all the wrong reasons.  Have you ever had to watch a child bite her mother?  It isn’t pretty.

What’s even worse is when you are afraid you may be next and Lil’ Kim’s mom distracts you:  “My toddler is a biter. She bites when she’s excited, when she’s angry, and when she doesn’t get her way. Should I bite her back?”

As much I wanted to, I could not say go for it.

Without a doubt, biting is the behavior that parents dread most. Not surprisingly, biters are often excluded from daycare or playgroups.

When your toddler sinks her teeth into your — or even worse, another person’s — flesh, the “bite her back” argument may seem like a logical way to stop her biting.  Don’t do that, it’s wrongheaded.

Teeth are natural weapons for all young mammals, so your child’s first instinct is to use them when she feels threatened or needs something. She doesn’t truly understand that biting is forbidden, let alone “wrong.” So when she bites, even if she does it gently and playfully, immediately and clearly convey to her that biting isn’t acceptable.

If her “kisses” turn into aggressive nibbles, remove her from your lap with a firm “no biting.” She’s still too young for lengthy explanations about why biting is bad; it’s enough at this point to simply tell her that she must not bite under any circumstances.

Make sure, too, that you don’t inadvertently reward your toddler for biting. Of course, teeth marks get your attention, but don’t pick her up — even if it’s to reprimand her. If your child bites another child, focus your attention on the injured party rather than on the biter — who may take even negative attention as reinforcement for doing it again.

While you need to firmly tell your child that biting isn’t okay, actually punishing her for the behavior isn’t very effective at getting her to stop. In fact, punitive measures may put an angry or over stimulated child right over the top. And though parents are often counseled to bite their child back “to show her how it feels,” this is as pointless as it is painful.

Young children do most of their social learning by following their parents’ example, so biting your child or otherwise inflicting pain on her sets a bad example. After all, how will she learn that biting is wrong if you do it?

Biting must be stopped, but you won’t stop it by stooping to your child’s level. Aggressive acts stop when adults stop them. So instantly remove your child’s teeth from her victim’s flesh, show concern for the child who’s been hurt, acknowledge both parties’ feelings, and, as your child’s verbal skills grow, help her learn to negotiate with words rather than aggression: “We don’t bite. Can you use your words to tell me what you need?”

Biting is a surefire means of communication. It gets attention. I guess “Lil’ Kim” was just trying to get her point across.

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Behavior Issues, Parenting

The 3-year-old with the Powerful Thump

Sep 20th, 10 / 0 Comments
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by Auntie Em

For a couple of years, my peace and quiet was interrupted by our next door neighbor’s teenage son and his garage band.  They practiced almost every weekend, playing everything from hip-hop to county western and jazz, until the “wannabe musicians” were silenced when the five of them left for college a year ago.

I was so thankful for the return to normal sound levels on our block.

But early last Saturday morning, I heard a steady thumping of drums.  It was hard to label the sound, but it kind of sounded like a rock band drummer with a bad hangover.   Thud, bang, bang, thumpity, thump, thump, thump!

Oh my God……I suddenly remembered that my husband had mentioned that Raymond, the 3 year old across the street had just gotten a drum set. How could such a little person make so much noise?

Thank goodness he didn’t live next door.

Don’t get me wrong.  I definitely believe that music is an important part of children’s lives, but when I was a kid I took piano lessons and my banging on the keys was never loud enough to be heard outside.

After the shock of it all I tried to listen more objectively and decided it really wasn’t that awful.  In fact, if he keeps practicing he will probably be on America’s Got Talent by 2017.

The point is, music is critical to our lives, and that love and enjoyment starts at a very young age; and enjoying music includes playing music.  Plus, researchers in the field of neurology believe that musical training can play a profound role in the development of a child’s sensory system.  Experts believe that playing music might help children process speech and enable them to better interpret the subtleties of language that are conveyed in the human voice.

Not sure if drums fit into that language category but they certainly help a kid get good rhythm and coordination. Plus, percussion instruments give kids a constructive——although noisy—-outlet for their energy.

The percussion family includes large, stationary instruments as well as small and portable instruments and there are toy replicas made for children.

If drums are too costly or big for your taste, you can find a variety of smaller percussion instruments that are perfect to help children learn rhythm. They can ring a hand bell in time to music or a metronome. Maracas are another popular toy for children. You might also try the triangle or a tambourine, which can be found at music stores.

A homemade instrument, such as a rain stick is another option. Use an empty paper towel tube for the body of the rain stick. Glue cardboard to one end to seal it up, then add unpopped popcorn, sand, coarse salt and small beans to the tube so it becomes a noisemaker. Seal up the other end with cardboard and decorate.

These are fun and easy to make.  In fact, I plan to invite myself over to accompany Raymond with my rain stick next weekend

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Parenting

Why Are Toddlers So Moody?

Aug 24th, 10 / 0 Comments
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by Auntie Em

“Alfredo has multiple personalities,” jokes his mother.  She tells me that one second he’s fine and then, if he can’t get his puzzle together gets really prickly and starts screaming.

“I don’t want to tell you what happens if I put the meat and gravy too close to his vegetables.”

So I am wondering why so much drama over a little gravy?

The majority of these ups and downs are a very normal part of growing up, and it’s important not to mistake them for misbehavior, according to a child psychiatrist.

But I don’t care what the experts say; Alfredo’s mom was frustrated by his mood swings.

And I don’t blame her!  This is my favorite story: Alfredo gets in one of his moods and tells her he wants ice cream.  They get on the freeway and sit in traffic for over an hour just to take Alfredo to his favorite ice cream shop.  They finally get there, grab ice cream and get back in the car to go home.  Once in the car,  Alfredo changes his mind and dumps his cone in the back seat of the car.

We all know that some toddlers become drama queens and kings – Alfredo being one of them. But, why are they so moody and explosive at times?

Lots of reasons I’ve been told, and all of them purely developmental.

Toddlers can’t communicate their wants and needs as well as they’d like to.

Problem #1 – Lack of Vocabulary: Between the ages of 1 and 3, the world is enormous, fascinating, and ever changing. It sounds great, but most toddlers are little people with only a 20-word vocabulary, so their lives can be frustrating.

What to do: Sometimes you’re not going to be able to figure out what your child wants right away, “so stay calm and realize that the situation isn’t anyone’s fault.” “Then, try to help him by picking up items he might possibly want and labeling them.” Say the name of each item out loud and point to it.

Problem #2 – No Concept of Time: Your child may know that he’s thirsty, and may even tell you so. But when that juice box doesn’t appear immediately, watch out.

What to do: There’s a big upside to this particular toddler phenomenon. Having no concept of time means that many toddlers get sidetracked very easily.  Anger over a delayed drink can quickly turn to joy over a sink full of bubbles, so always be at the ready with a distraction.

Problem #3 – Trouble Switching from One Task to the Next: “Kids get very focused on one activity and then we expect them to change gears instantly. This sort of transition takes a toll on even an adult mind, so those expectations are way too high for children.

What to do: Take advantage of your child’s burgeoning skills. Toddlers have a solid understanding of sequencing; they are well aware of how one action follows the next. Activity changeovers can be eased with warnings that come early and often.

In the bath, say, “Now we’re going to wash your hair and then rinse it. After we rinse it, we’re getting out of the bath.”

Problem #4 – getting Tired and Hungry Very Quickly: Some toddlers tucker out within three hours of awakening in the morning. And unlike older kids, toddlers don’t fuel up at meals because they tend to graze all day. You won’t be surprised to learn that tired, hungry kids are moody kids who cry on a dime.

What to do: First, try to plan your day around nap time. Don’t schedule play dates or doctor appointments during the nap zone.

And, I don’t visit Alfredo’s house unless I know he has had his nap

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Parenting

How to Train a Babysitter

Jul 26th, 10 / 0 Comments
how-to-train-a-babysitter

by Auntie Em

“She can’t do this to me.”

I heard anger in her voice so decided not to say a word until she calmed down.

Ginger is the daughter of a good friend of mine and I knew she was talking about her mother…my girlfriend.   This was awkward.  I didn’t want to hear this rant and I certainly didn’t want to be a part of it.

Silence.   Then Ginger sat down with her 3-year-old and explained: “Mother is going away for her vacation.  A ten day cruise in fact and it’s around the same time that my class starts.”

Yikes.  I knew exactly where this was going, my mind was racing and I was prepared to jump up and get away as fast as possible.   She wouldn’t have a babysitter and I was not the person to fill in while her mom was away.

Yes, I did feel her frustration, but to stay friends with Ginger I knew I would have to help her find another alternative.

I used my Auntie Em skills to console her.   “It will be fine,” I said in my sweet and sympathetic voice.   Then I told her that I would help her pay for a babysitter for the two mornings she would be away at school.   The hard part was finding a good babysitter, but we had a plan.

We both made calls to other mothers, friends and neighbors for recommendations and then set up 15 minute interviews for about three of the young ladies that Ginger felt would be the best ones.

The interviews weren’t just with Ginger.  She also had her toddler with her and paid attention to how the potential babysitter and her child interacted.  That eliminated one candidate and the other one didn’t have reliable transportation.

But that was only the first step.  Once you have found the perfect babysitter, the real fun begins.  How do you make your babysitter adapt to your parenting style?

Here  are some tips on training a new babysitter.  Remember that it takes time, so be patient!

  • Set up a time for her to come over while you are at home for about a half hour and let her play with your child while you are in the house doing other things. This way she feels comfortable that you are near and you feel comfortable as well. Have her do this several times until you both feel comfortable.
  • Your toddler will test the babysitter-in-training to see if she will tell him what he can’t do. Be sure to let your babysitter-in-training know that she’s allowed to tell him no and send him to the time-out spot. Also be sure to let your child know this too.
  • Let your babysitter-in-training know that she is doing a good job. A confident babysitter will make you feel confident with leaving your child with her.
  • The next time let her know that you’ll be going outside the house s if you were leaving to go somewhere. Tell your toddler that you are going out and take your purse with you. You can just sit outside where your toddler can’t see you or go to the neighbors. When you “leave” let your toddler know that he should listen to the babysitter. This way your toddler won’t see the babysitter as a “playmate” but more of an adult. This allows your babysitter to get used to the idea of you not being around.
  • Next have her come over while your toddler is napping and really go somewhere. You can ask the babysitter to call you if your child wakes up then arrange to return home about a half hour afterwards. This way you give the babysitter some time with full responsibility, but you know that you are on your way home too.

And don’t forget to keep in touch with your babysitter in case grandma takes another vacation.

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Parenting

What is Your Toddler’s Personality Type?

Jul 19th, 10 / 1 Comment
what-is-your-toddlers-personality-type

WHAT IS YOUR TODDLER’S PERSONALITY TYPE?

“If babies are angels, then toddlers must be cavemen.”

My neighbor says that a lot on those bad days.

“I just wish I could have prepared myself better for the attack of the Flintstones,” she whines while telling me that her 3 and 4 year-olds are uncivilized, oblivious to danger and totally egocentric. “They shove toy trucks and puzzle parts in their noses. They eat light bulbs.”

Toddlers are full of surprises.  But parents can master understanding these little creatures. The first step: figure out your toddler’s personality.  Knowing your child’s temperament helps you know when to pamper and when to push.

Generally, toddler personality is divided into three broad categories, experts say:

  • Easy or happy, but not constantly.
  • Shy or slow to warm — often thoughtful and quiet.
  • Spirited (a nice term for “Get down off the refrigerator right now!”)

The Easy Child: About half of kids are easygoing — waking up on the “right side of the bed,” cheerful and ready for a new day. They’re active, tolerate change, and basically like new people and situations. Parents need to just use common sense if this is their toddler’s personality. Easy children sometimes can be lost in the crowd — spending too much time left alone with the television, or not enough time with their parents because other children demand the attention. Make sure that a child who is easy doesn’t become a neglected child.

The Shy Child: About 15 percent of kids are shy or slow to warm up, experts say. By age 9 months, many easy babies will smile at strangers, but shy kids will frown and cling. Experts say children with this toddler personality type need a lot of transition time from one activity to another activity. They might be late walkers and they will often study, with intensity, how a game is played before jumping in. “Their motto is, ‘When in doubt, don’t!’ Parents, these are gentle souls — and should be shielded from harsh criticism and ridicule. Also, parents need to make sure children with this toddler personality type can’t be rushed into getting dressed or sitting on Santa’s lap.

The Spirited or Wild Child: About one in 10 toddlers is a strong-willed, challenging kid, experts say. These roller-coaster kids have high highs and lows.  Parents usually know they have a spirited child because they’re the ‘more’ kids.” More active. More impatient. More impulsive.  More defiant. M ore intense. More sensitive. More rigid. The best recommendation to parents with this toddler personality type: Keep them active. Get them outside to play — a lot. These kids need to burn off their energy and work through their moods, experts say. They also need firm structure to keep them safe and stable — and lots of patience.

Of course, no child is contained within one toddler personality type, but these three types can be a helpful guide on how to interact. And I must add that on the good days my neighbor calls her toddlers little darlings and she tells me all of the impressive and sweet things they are doing.

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Parenting