Author Archive

Can the High Costs of Child Care Keep Women From “Having it All”?

Aug 27th, 12 / 0 Comments
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By Double Duty Mama

A supervisor at one of my past jobs is rumored to have announced “no more uteruses” in the workplace upon learning that another of his employees was pregnant. To him, and probably to a lot of employers, an expecting mother causes all kinds of alarms to go off:

WARNING: She’s going to miss work for doctors’ appointments!

WARNING: She’s going to take off time to have and bond with the baby!

WARNING: She’s going to want to leave work at a reasonable hour to spend time with her family!

The guilt and pressure working mothers (and many fathers) feel when it comes to balancing a job and a home life can be overwhelming. But, when you add to that the financial pain of the high costs of quality child care, many women are finding that they have to make some tough choices between their career and finding an affordable, safe, nurturing and educational environment to place their child every day.

Women’s issues have taken center stage in this election year, fueled by remarks from women on all sides of the spectrum. This summer, in a controversial Atlantic article, a female high-ranking State Department official wrote why she thinks women still can’t have it all. When Yahoo! hired a CEO who was six months pregnant, the blogosphere exploded in debate about what women can and can’t have. And tempers are raging over remarks made by wife of presidential hopeful Mitt Romney about the role of women in the home.

Like most working moms out there, I am not a high-ranking federal official, a powerful business leader or a high-profile political wife. I am just a working shlub earning a modest salary trying to get to my kids’ doctors’ appointments and school performances, and be home in time for dinner most nights. I don’t have a choice between being a stay-at-home mom and working outside the house — at least, not if we want to make ends meet.

I do consider myself among the lucky, though, in that we’ve been able to afford pretty decent child care and preschools. My younger son attended a public preschool through our local school district, which was affordable, by comparison to private centers. I know many of his friends received government subsidies to off-set even that low-end tuition.

But, according to a recent report, Parents and the High Cost of Child Care, many families are forced to choose between quality and affordability, as reported in today’s Monday Morning Report. The average cost of infant care in California last year was $11,800, according to the report by Child Care Aware of America.

With budget cuts and slashes to public subsidies, Child Care Aware of America is calling on lawmakers for reforms. Find out more about financial help for child care from the state Department of Social Services’ CalWORKs Child Care Program, the federal Community Services Block Grant or the Child Care Resource Center of Los Angeles.

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Budgeting, Parenting, Preschool, Uncategorized

Get Out & Collect

Jun 27th, 12 / 0 Comments
get-out-collect

By Double Duty Mama

On a camping trip last year, my kids found in the dirt all around our site little colored balls that we assume are pellets from air soft guns. They spent hours scanning, squatting and scooping these tiny “treasures” from the dirt and putting them into sandwich baggies. They’ve done the same on every camping trip since.

My younger son, especially, coveted his newest collection for his treasure box (an old shoe box on the floor of his room). Inside that box are rocks from past hikes, sea shells from beach visits, bottle caps he finds on walks that he’s keeping for a friend who has a collection, a disintegrating pine cone and other odds and ends he finds.

Experts say there are many psychological benefits to children collecting … but there isn’t a lot of mention about the physical benefits. It’s pretty simple when you think about it: You give a young kid a bag, bucket, pail or cup and send him off in a park, at the beach or even in the yard to find treasures. You can give him a theme, like things that are “red” or different kinds of leaves, for motivation if he needs it.

What happens next is lots of moving. Large motor skills are being activated as she walks, squats and bends, and her small motor skills are getting a workout too, as she uses her pincer grasp (the thumb and forefinger) to pick up objects and place them in a container.

With young kids needing at least 30 to 60 minutes of exercise a day to keep them healthy, encourage your kids to Get Out & Play by starting their own collections, going on a treasure hunt or even creating a scavenger hunt. Of course, when you join in, your kids will have even more fun.

This summer and always, First 5 LA and Ready. Set. Grow! want families with young children to learn about ways to increase physical activity to combat the childhood obesity epidemic. Visit the Get Out & Play web hub and be sure to enter the Get Out & Play Fitness Challenge for a chance to win prizes.

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Health and Nutrition, Just for Fun, Uncategorized

Update: REAL Kid-Friendly Lunches That REALLY Work

May 9th, 12 / 0 Comments
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By Double Duty Mama

You may not believe this, but I may have stumbled upon a real solution to a real kid problem!

Remember about six weeks ago when I told you about how my kids don’t eat the healthy food I pack in their lunch boxes and were also sneaking cafeteria meals at school? Our lunch box battles inspired me to be more creative with their lunches and find a variety of healthy, kid-friendly foods they’ll be sure to eat.

It. Totally. Worked.

I know! I couldn’t believe it either!

What I figured out was they were actually very sick of their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches — even though they didn’t realize it themselves or even know how to voice what was bothering them. They asked for it every day because they didn’t really know what else they could ask for … and then shunned it when faced with the prospect of actually eating one again.

Now, I usually give them two options to choose from and let them also pick from among a variety of “extras,” like crackers, baked chips, pretzels, granola bars, yogurt smoothies, yogurt, various cheeses, apple sauce and fruit cups in water, as well as fruits and vegetables I know they like (there is always one serving in every lunch box). They’ve learned to like, or at least accept and eat, leftover pizza, pasta and chicken (a favorite being “make-your-own-tacos” with chicken chunks, shredded cheese and whole wheat tortillas). They also eat rice cakes with peanut butter, frozen taquitos, quesadillas, homemade “lunchables,” hard-boiled eggs and “breakfast for lunch” with no sugar added cereal, yogurt cups and cut-up fruit.

And, for the first time since I started sending lunch with them to school, I’ve managed to keep a jar of peanut butter and a loaf of bread on hand for more than a few days.

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Health and Nutrition, Recipes and Cooking, Uncategorized

Kindergartner Handcuffed and Taken Away By Police for Acting Out

Apr 17th, 12 / 0 Comments
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By Double Duty Mama

As I read this article about a kindergartner being hauled off in handcuffs by the police for acting out in school, I tried to picture all of this happening through the eyes of a kindergartner. Or, actually, through the eyes of my kindergartner. He may be a kindergartner who struggles with behavior issues and has his share of tantrums that land him in the principal’s office … but at least the only terror he has from those experiences is the one that comes when the school calls me or my husband. The idea of the police being called because he threw a toy or had one of his defiant “I-don’t-have-to-listen-to-you” episodes with a teacher would make me seriously question the professionals in whose care I’ve trusted him. That the police and school district in this case are even now, with the benefit of hindsight, justifying their actions has me baffled.

The story cites other instances around the country where students were arrested for misbehaving at school. While their alleged “crimes” may sound trivial (burping in class), we know that those kids are older and no mention is made of their behavioral histories. How much behavioral history can a 6-year-old have that would warrant handcuffs and a trip to the clink?

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Behavior Issues, Safety, Uncategorized

Eat Healthy, Grow Strong: REAL Kid-Friendly Lunches

Mar 29th, 12 / 1 Comment
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By Double Duty Mama

If you’re anything like me, and your kids are anything like mine, I’m sure you’ll understand how often I roll my eyes at so-called “kid-friendly recipes.” Edamame Succotash Salad? Tobuleh and Hummus Wraps? Please! Have these people ever even met a preschooler, let alone tried to get three healthy meals a day into one?

My kids are both in elementary school now and I pack a lunch every day. Just because they’re a little older doesn’t mean they’re tastes have matured much beyond their preschool years. They generally ask for peanut butter and jelly sandwiches every day. Sometimes, they mix it up with bologna or a homemade “lunchable” where I put crackers, bologna and cheese into baggies and let them assemble themselves. I work full time, commute a long way and my family is overrun with extra-curricular activities and family/friend commitments. We don’t have a lot of time and my kids are pretty picky, so I don’t try to be very fancy or creative with most our meals. I do try to vary them as much as possible and make sure they are balanced (yes, I do believe that My Plate is a great guideline).

But, it seems, no matter what I do – we are constantly battling over what’s inside the lunch box. I want to give them lots of yummy, healthy extras – like yogurt, pretzels and granola bars. The deal is, though, they have to eat their sandwiches and fruit/veggies FIRST, before the other stuff. Most days, not only do they NOT follow that rule – but they also completely DON’T eat the sandwiches and fruits/veggies. When that happens, I put them on lunch box probation and, for several days, they get nothing but a sandwich, fruit or vegetable and, maybe, if I’m feeling generous, a granola bar. A few days later, figuring the lesson’s been learned, we go back to regular lunches. And our regular battles.

This week, I discovered that my older son, who is allowed to eat in the school cafeteria once a week for lunch, has not only been sneaking in a second lunch (after not eating the one I packed), but a second breakfast only minutes after finishing his first one at home. What? When I asked why he’s buying a second breakfast, he could only shrug. Am I not making what you like? Do I need to make you more? No, he said. He couldn’t explain.

It does, however, explain why sandwich after sandwich returns home in his lunchbox, uneaten. Who would be hungry for lunch after two breakfasts?

Besides the costs of the extra school lunches and breakfasts, I’ve also grown angry over the amount of food that’s gone to waste – food that costs money. He can kiss his allowance good-bye for a while.

This whole thing, though, has inspired me to find lunch box meals that go beyond the PB&J, but stop somewhere before goat cheese and red pepper sandwiches, to find TRULY REAL kid-friendly lunches to go! A big hurdle to this is that my kids complain they don’t want to eat food “cold.” Hoping I can convince them to accept room temperature for some food, I think I’ve gathered some ideas from the Internet that we’re going to try in the coming weeks:

  • Wraps with cheese and turkey or bologna
  • Hard-boiled eggs
  • Bagels and cream cheese or peanut butter
  • Bean and cheese burritos
  • Taquitos, cut up with a small container of sour cream
  • Left over pasta or macaroni and cheese
  • Rolls with cheese and bologna or turkey on the side
  • Chicken and rice (they love teriyaki and soy sauce)
  • Rice cakes with cream cheese or peanut butter
  • Mini muffins
  • Dry cereal
  • Left over pizza

Be sure to make the meal balanced with fruits and veggies, lean protein, whole grains and dairy!

Anyone else have any ideas for TRULY REAL kid-friendly lunches to share? Leave them in the comments below!

For some great tips and reminders about lunch time realities, check out:

Brown Bag Lunch Recipes: Pack A Brown Bag Lunch That Won’t Be Traded from About.com

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Through April, our Eat Healthy, Grow Strong campaign will feature blog entries about nutritious eating, along with recipes, tips and resources for you to help your family Eat Healthy, Grow Strong! Be sure to visit www.ReadySetGrowLA.org/EatHealthy for even more ways to make good eating a part of your life, including upcoming events and a Nutrition Quiz to win great prizes.

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Health and Nutrition, Parenting, Recipes and Cooking

Eat Healthy, Grow Strong: Would You Rather Have a Banana or a Scooby-Doo Stickered Rock for Breakfast?

Mar 19th, 12 / 0 Comments
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By Double Duty Mama

When my younger son was about 15 days old and his brother was 2 years old, my husband and I watched a shocking episode of Dateline where preschoolers were asked to choose between foods.

First, they chose between cupcakes: one with an American flag design and the other with Elmo or Spiderman. The character always won. Then, they were asked to choose between a banana covered with Disney princess or Scooby-Doo stickers and a plain cupcake, and the stickered banana was chosen each time. Last, they were presented a plain banana and cartoon character sticker-covered rock and asked which they’d rather have in their lunch box. Guess what? They all chose the rock.

My husband and I, who considered ourselves savvy to the tricky ways of marketers, had never encountered this issue. And we were shocked to see the kids, one after the other, choose food based on what it looked like. Our older son was still pretty shielded at that point from television, except for DVR’d episodes of Dora the Explorer. We never bought shoes or shirts with cartoon characters on them and we never wanted to encourage any obsessions with these characters. We knew that eventually these icons would be discovered, but we didn’t want to speed up that process.

And with good reason. Like that Dateline show, we knew the power of marketing on children. The American Academy of Pediatrics places a large part of the childhood obesity epidemic blame on food marketing, and a recent study found that preschoolers were more likely to “nag” for junk food in the grocery store based on product packaging, cartoon characters and exposure to commercials.

It is our job to ensure that the kids eat healthy, and we always keep the junk food to a minimum. As they grow older, watch more television and play video games and begin to like what their friends like, it only gets harder. But if you set the ground rules at the beginning and stick to your nutritious shopping list, it does get easier. Eventually, they stop nagging (as much) for the Star Wars fruit snacks and eat the plain, fresh apple. I can’t say it ever stops completely, but by being consistent you can win against the powerful food marketing force and be sure your kids are eating healthy and growing strong.

Click here to read a full transcript of Dateline’s Who’s to blame for the U.S. obesity epidemic? —including a link to a five-minute video of the kids making their food choices.

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Through April, our Eat Healthy, Grow Strong campaign will feature blog entries about nutritious eating, along with recipes, tips and resources for you to help your family Eat Healthy, Grow Strong! Be sure to visit www.ReadySetGrowLA.org/EatHealthy for even more ways to make good eating a part of your life, including upcoming events and a Nutrition Quiz to win great prizes.

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Behavior Issues, Health and Nutrition, Parenting, Uncategorized

Judging: Parents Are Hard on Each Other … and Themselves

Mar 13th, 12 / 0 Comments
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By Double Duty Mama

“You don’t even know.”

I often look at parents-to-be and think that to myself.

Because, frankly, I didn’t even know how dramatically life would change with kids….

How I would  lie awake at night thinking about all the things I needed to do to keep my kids safe and alive … and pay for things like daycare, college and weddings….

How “free time” was no longer about leisurely reading books or shopping with friends, but running around my house frantically like a mad woman on a Saturday afternoon cleaning, filling out school and extracurricular activity forms, catching up on party RSVP’s, fixing snacks, toys and boo-boos….

How much time I would spend worrying if I was “doing it right,” guiltily comparing myself to my stay-at-home friends who seemed to enjoy their constant time with their kids, while feeding them homemade, organic food … or smugly comparing myself to my friends who plopped their toddlers in front of the television with a bag of cookies for three hours a day.

This comparing myself to others and stressing about parenting can be a poisonous path to travel.

Earlier this month, a blogger wrote a column in the Huffington Post apologizing to the parents she judged before having children and acknowledging all the “judge-worthy” things she does with her children: television(!), disposable diapers(!).

Then, she smartly writes to all parents: “Stop comparing ourselves to each other because it’s hard for all of us, and we’re just doing what we can to get by, get through the day and give our children the best we can.”

And she’s right, but it can be hard … especially when study after study talks about all the ways parents are failing their children. A recent one written up in the Washington Post compares American parents to their French counterparts, who are “calmer” and “more confident.” The article does note, however, that the French, unlike the U.S., have state-subsidized child care … which I’m sure eliminates a lot of the stress hard-working parents have over earning a living and finding someone to watch over their little ones.

Speaking of which, the article did throw working parents a bone: “American mothers who work outside the home — and that’s three-fourths of all moms, many of whom work full-time — spend more time with their children today than stay-at-home mothers did in the 1960s.”

The article adds: “They do so by forgoing sleep, personal care, housework and any shred of personal leisure. Their ‘free time’ is largely spent with their kids.” This, of course, gives me and all working, guilt-ridden parents the opportunity to pretend this makes us “better” parents than the stay-at-home ones. But that would be inaccurate and judge-y.

So, the whole point is that, no matter what the articles, studies or even our friends and family members say, no parent is perfect (especially in the eyes of another). All we can do is our best: read the articles, listen to the pediatrician and access educational and resourceful information to make the best, informed choices we can.

And don’t beat ourselves up if we toss the cranky kid in the shopping cart the iPhone.

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Looking for some well-researched parenting advice and child-rearing information? Be sure to explore Ready. Set. Grow! for more:

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Behavior Issues, Parenting

Eat Healthy, Grow Strong: Fresh from the Farm

Mar 1st, 12 / 0 Comments
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By Double Duty Mama

We have a lot of healthy eating “rules” in our house that, not surprisingly, the kids don’t follow. For example, we tell them they have to take just one bite of a new food before they 1.) say they don’t like it and 2.) ask for something else. We’re pretty reasonable about this — I mean, I’m not asking them to sample escargot or anything.

But, alas, if your kid doesn’t want to try something, he’s won’t. And, most the time, they don’t.

Except on this one amazing day last summer, they did.

We visited Tanaka Farms in Orange County to go strawberry picking. That alone is enough to get my family excited. We may struggle over veggies and not agree on fruit … but we all looooooove strawberries. But our day was about way more than strawberries.

We rode a tractor-pulled cart through the farm and, along the way, sampled fresh-from-the-ground produce: sweet corn, green beans, scallions, carrots and more. My kids, who press their lips tight and turn their head away at the site of most things green, eagerly bit into each sample and said it was delicious! My younger son, whose only regularly consumed vegetable is corn, tried everything. He held tightly to three green beans and a carrot for the rest of the day so he could have them later.

Then, the grand finale: We had 15 minutes in the strawberry field to fill a basket and our bellies with as many of the luscious, juicy fruits we could find. I don’t know if those strawberries were any different than the ones we buy at the store, but they just seemed tastier and fresher when pulled right off the vine.

According to Red Tricycle, farm season in Los Angeles begins today. Check out their website here for a list of local farms where you too can pick (and eat) delicious, healthy fruits and veggies this spring.

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Through April, our Eat Healthy, Grow Strong campaign will feature blog entries about nutritious eating, along with recipes, tips and resources for you to help your family Eat Healthy, Grow Strong! Be sure to visit www.ReadySetGrowLA.org/EatHealthy for even more ways to make good eating a part of your life, including upcoming events and a Nutrition Quiz to win great prizes.

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Health and Nutrition, Uncategorized

To Fluoride or Not to Fluoride? That is the Question

Feb 13th, 12 / 0 Comments
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By Double Duty Mama

When my oldest son was a baby, all the parenting advice articles I read about oral health care and babies said to NOT use fluoride toothpaste on children younger than 2. The concern was that babies are too young to swallow, and swallowing fluoride was bad. I just assumed that was because fluoride would give them tummy aches.

Turns out, I was wrong.

Fluoride Treatment

Many communities now have fluoride in the drinking water, and the concern was that children who ingest too much fluoride could develop a condition called fluorosis – which causes white streaks and dots on the teeth.

I learned about this recently and realized I deprived my kids of fluoride for way longer than necessary. What I should have done, as Dr. Paul Reggiardo of the American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry tells First 5 LA’s Monday Morning Report, is talked to my kids’ dentist about it. Whoops.

At my younger son’s regular dental check-up earlier this month, we did ask. Yes, she said, fluoride toothpaste for children 2 and older is safe and recommended. Whoops again.

It also turns out that the only difference between “children” and “adult” fluoridated toothpastes are the pictures on the tubes and the flavors. Otherwise, the concentration and formulation of fluoride is the same. So, basically, I was duped by the marketing geniuses who work for the toothpaste companies into buying expensive toothpaste for my children unnecessarily. And … whoops again.

The American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry has lots of great advice and answers to frequently asked questions for parents wondering how best to care for their children’s mouths. This page about dental care for babies is a great place to start.

February is National Children’s Dental Health Month. Here are some past blog entries to help you make the best oral health care choices for your kids:

 

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Health and Nutrition

Eat Healthy, Grow Strong: Just Desserts

Feb 8th, 12 / 0 Comments
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By Double Duty Mama

Recently, a friend with three children told me they have eliminated the daily whining and struggles over dessert. “They just get a dessert after every dinner,” she said matter-of-factly. Problem solved.

I wondered if this approach would work with my boys. My younger one, who uses whining as his food battle weapon of choice, would eat three treats all day if we let him. Every night, about half-way through his dinner, he’ll ask: “Can I have dessert?” So, every night, we’re faced with a decision:

  • Did he eat enough nutritious food to warrant a sweet finish? (Especially since he’ll often say he’s “done” to get the cookie, only to complain he’s hungry 10 minutes after the dishes are done.)
  • Even though I know I’m not supposed to “reward” with food, did he have a good enough day to justify a treat?
  • Am I setting him up in the habit of expecting dessert?

Also, we don’t keep a lot of sweet treats around the house, partly so the kids aren’t tempted and partly so I’m not tempted. There is usually some leftover holiday candy floating around (candy cane, anyone?) or some low-fat ice cream in the freezer, though, so it’s likely there is some kind of option.

Like everything in parenting, it comes down to figuring out what is best for your family after weighing the pros and cons. For example, some experts say you can create a bigger struggle with weight for kids in adolescence and later in life if you withhold all treats when they’re young. Number nine on the Mayo Clinic’s 10 Tips for Picky Eaters is to not offer dessert as a reward. Withholding dessert sends the message that it is the best food, which could backfire and increase your child’s desire for it. “You might select one or two nights a week as dessert nights, and skip dessert the rest of the week — or redefine dessert as fruit, yogurt or other healthy choices,” the Mayo Clinic recommends.

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Through April, our Eat Healthy, Grow Strong campaign will feature blog entries about nutritious eating, along with recipes, tips and resources for you to help your family Eat Healthy, Grow Strong! Be sure to visit www.ReadySetGrowLA.org/EatHealthy for even more ways to make good eating a part of your life, including upcoming events and a Nutrition Quiz to win great prizes.

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Health and Nutrition, Parenting, Uncategorized